Evil Pasta
by Bekah311
Summary: Other World Meeting has passed and the Allies are at it again! Poor Italy being shipped ONCE AGAIN just for the fun of it..he could still taste England's food,But that doesn't matter right now it looks like someone wants to cheer Italy up! I DO NOT OWN HETALIA! PLEASE ENJOY THIS PURE CRACKNESS! This story has no shipping but do so if you want! NO REAL PLOT TO THIS JUST RANDOMNESS


**This story was based on my friends and I being idiots and deciding to role play with each other! So characters are kinda OOC! I was Italy, my friend was Russia and her sister was Germany. Some dialogue were added/removed and characters too (like America for example). But I hope you enjoy this crackness me and my friends created!**

In the far corner in the conference sat a sniffling Italy in fetal position, beside him laid a box on it's side with a sheet of paper torn in half that read FUCK. He tightened his arms around his legs as he thought back to what happened earlier today, when the Allies purposely captured and put him in in the box again, just so they could see the little italian get shipped back to Germany and get scolded again about him needing to learn how to protect himself,but to make things worse they did it during a WORLD MEETING...agh you could still hear them laughing at you! Italy covered his ears and whimpered, as he did this it blocked him from the knowledge that someone was approaching him from behind.

"Italy?" spoke the mystery person, whoever it was spoke with a deep accent. Italy's ears perked up to the voice but he still didn't turn to it.

"Did they mail you again?" The voice spoke once more...that accent...it almost sounded...Russian!? But Italy was to busy with nodding his head in shame to put two and two together

"VEEEE, Y-y-yes they did...Germany wasn't too happy about it either."he lightly sobbed out. The deep voice chuckled to the reply

"Yes, I can only image..." the voice paused for a while, almost debating on what to say next.

"Did they at least feed you, your beloved pasta Or England's horrid food?" Italy buried his face into his knees, too ashamed of himself to turn around and put a face to the voice...but one thing for sure, it was a male.

"I don't want to talk about it! VE, I still have the taste o-" his sentence was cut short as he shook in terror of the memories of England's cooking. He clutched his stomach in pain.

"veee, I'm feeling sick just thinking about it!" he whimpered.

"It's okay! It's okay! Mother Russia brought you pasta!" Italy's head shoot up as his mind finally started to put everything together. He shot up quickly and forced himself to turn around. He came face to face with Russia's smiling face and purple eyes, what scared him more was that his hands were behind his back! What did he have?!

"R-r-r-russia!" He stuttered as he stumbled backwards.

"Da." Once again not quite paying attention to his surroundings he tripped over the box that was beside him and tumbled back down to the ground on his backside. Russia leaned down and brought His hands out in front of him, Italy flinched to this motion and started to shake his head and hands in a no motion, but Russia ignored this and proceed to stretch out his hands. Almost like he was giving the smaller nation a gift! In them was a freshly cooked bowl of...PASTA!? At this sight Italy tried calming himself, unfortunately though he wasn't able to stop himself from trembling.

"Ve, thank you so much Russia...b-b-but I'm not that hungry."Italy said trying hard to hide the fear in his voice. Russia's smile twitched in annoyance but it still refused to fall, A dark aura suddenly started to consume him and Italy. Realizing this the smaller nation started to scoot away from the bigger nation.

"You made Mother Russia cook pasta for nothing!?" the aura around them darkened, making it unbearable to be in that area. Italy's eyes widened as he thought up a good excuse.

"Um...well..w-well you see I already ate today." Russia's smile grew wider as one of his gloved hands took the fork and spun it in the pasta.

"Take one bite..." The aura around him lightened a bit but still remained so he could add force to his demand.

"Or I'll strap you on to Busby s chair!...please choose wisely Italy." Knowing that there is no way around this, he stood up with trembling legs and with shaky hands he reached out to grab the evil bowl of pasta. His fingers intertwined with Russia's as he pulled it out of his grasp and into his own, he also made sure to forced a smile on his face.

"Ve, T-thank you so much Russia!" he stared down the pasta until an idea struck him "VEEE You know what?! I'll take this home so I can enjoy this amazing bowl of pasta better!" He spoke with a little bit more excitement knowing that he avoided this danger..or did he? The thought of burning this pasta and burying it's remains filled the Italian's mind

"Poor Pasta." He mumbled as he turned his back away from Russia...(DON'T DO THAT ITALY!) Suddenly strong hands came down on each of his shoulders, holding him in place.

"Oh...but if you do that I can't see if you enjoyed my pasta." he leaned down while still gripping tightly onto the smaller man's shoulders.

"Stay. Here. Where. I. Can. See. You." A tiny whimper slipped from Italy's lips as he realized that there was no escaping this situation. He thought desperately of a plan when out of nowhere America popped his head in the room and yelled.

"HEY! LOOK IT'S CHINA!" Russia lets go of Italy and starts to turn in every direction to find out where the chinese man was at in the room. Italy made eye contact with America as he gave him a thumbs up and mouthed "I'm the hero" and slipped away. Italy not missing his chance to escape started to run for the door.

"Where!? I d-" He just realizing not only was Italy escaping but he was also tricked by AMERICA, Russia became angry.

" You little white flag waving twit! Get back here and eat this pasta!" He yelled. Italy still headed for the door while shaking his head and screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" But Italy being Italy still wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, as his foot hooked on to one of the chairs. He went flying forward as the pasta slipped out of his hands and onto the ground; leaving it to be spread out all over the floor.

"oh..oh no" He whispered once he realized what had happened. Russia stood over him with a frown as he took in what he saw but he soon recovered and smiled.

"Well no use crying over spilled vodka! Italy please clean up your mess." He demanded, but the only reply he got was a confused look mixed with fear from the small Italian.

"If you refuse I will leave you in Siberia for a two weeks...Da? So please clean this mess."

"B-but I have nothing to clean it up w-with!?" He stated, The aura from before returned

"Are you talking back to me?" Italy shook his head "Then find something...NOW!" Italy squeaked, he attempted to clean up the mess with his hands but this action only made the mess ten times worse

"VE, W-where is Germany w-when you need him!?" Seeing that the Italian country was making the mess worse, he sighed heavily. Russia reached down a grabbed Italy by his collar and dragged him off.

"NONONONO I'LL CLEAN IT BETTER! GEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNY HEEEEEEEEEELLLP!" Italy struggled helplessly as Russia dragged him off, hoping that someone would hear his plea for help, but knowing most likely that this wouldn t work. He tried one last time to convince Russia, he yelled out.

"R-R-R-RUSSIA PLEASE! I PROMISE!" but not believing the italian's word, he just shook his head and continued to ignore him.

"IF YOU DON'T AGREE I'LL GET GERMANY!" The Russian man stop dragging him and paused. Italy's heart stopped...did he just threaten RUSSIA!?

"Hmmmmm...Alright?" Now he's definitely going to have a heart attack...did his threat just work!? was Russia really letting him go!?

"R-r-really!?" Italy asked.

"Da...but mess up again and you will have to be punished." Russia smiled at Italy as he let go of his collar and helped him up onto his feet,when Suddenly the Conference room's doors were flung open. Italy jumped ten feet into the air at this but Russia didn't even flinch.

"Russia! Leave Italy alone now!" said a loud booming voice.

"GERMANY! YOU CAME TO RESCUE ME!" Italy jumped on to the strong built man with blonde hair and blue eyes. He wrapped his arms around his neck and held on tight. Knowing that there was no way in hell Germany would get him to let go anytime soon, he picked the still clinging Italy up in Bridal style.

"Italy! Didn't we just have a talk about protecting yourself better?!" knowing that it wasn't actually a question Italy didn't reply and just buried his face more into his neck. Germany sighed and whispered into the smaller nation's hair

"I won't always be there to protect you Italy! Please understand?" In front of them Russia coughed loudly.

"*cough* Whipped *Cough*" Germany glared at the man in front of him that was giving a bright smile

"No I'm not!"

"Are you sure?" Germany s face started to become red with anger. When the small Italian shot his head up and gave Germany a confused look.

"Ve, Germany! I didn't know Russia knew about your whips?" Italy eyes widen as he covered his mouth "oops you weren't supposed to know that I knew that!" but his eyes lit up more as he turned his head in curiosity

"Is there something you re not telling Japan and I?" He asked. Germany s face started to turn into a darker shade of red but this time not from anger.

"No, he did not know about my whips AND NO I AM NOT HIDING ANYTHING LIKE THAT FROM YOU! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!" The blonde man blew up at the end of his sentence, once he realized what Italy was applying.

"VVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I'M SO SORRRRRY GEEEERRRRMMMMMMMMMAAAAANNNNNNNNNY!"

RUSSIA POV

Russia closed the conference doors behind him silencing the argument between the couple on the other side, but anyone who passed by could still hear the muffles of Germany yelling at the sobbing Italy. Russia just sighed tiredly as he unbuttoned his brown coat and pulled out a...HAMBURGER!?

"Time to say hello to my little Amerika!"

AMERICA POV

America stopped writing and lifted his head up from his paperwork. His eyes traveled around the hotel room.

"My Russia senses are tingling!"

?  
?


End file.
